Walking on the same path

On February 14, 1997, my best friend asked me to marry him. Thirteen years ago today, I did just that.



It hasn't always been easy. If I'm being honest, a lot of it has been very challenging. There were little things that came up along the way, and then we experienced autism. Autism is something I knew nothing about 10 years ago besides what I saw on "Rainman," and now it's become an integral part of our lives. Anyway, I know so many people who paint their marriages as lands of rainbows and lollipops, and let me tell you, I'm not overly familiar with this fantasyland. Successful marriages require compromises or constant agreement. Scott and I are both opinionated, and often have opposing opinions. Compromising can be challenging for both of us. Maybe if either of us was more easy-going, we'd at least visit that fantasy rainbow and lollipop land more often, but that's not who we are.



Who we actually are serves us better, which is how we've survived and even thrived for 13 years together. Our secret to a successful marriage is an understanding that even when we disagree, we are coming from the same place. We realize that we both ultimately want the same things: children who are happy and well-adjusted, financial security, identities beyond the four walls of our home, and so many other things. And when we disagree, it's because we see different paths to achieving those objectives. When I keep that in mind, although he might want to do the exact opposite action that I want to do, it reminds me of why we fit so well together. He's walking on the same path as me. And this realization has allowed us to learn the art of compromise.



60 years from now, when I reach the end of the path, I hope to look to my side, see my husband, and say, "It was all worth it. Sometimes you were right, sometimes I was right, sometimes neither of us was right, but in the end, just knowing that you were on this path with me made the journey worthwhile."



Happy Anniversary, Scott. I love you, and there is no one I'd rather have by my side as we continue our journey down this path, now and forever.