Some things I've learned...

Welcome to my very first posting!! I decided to start a blog for a lot of reasons, but mainly because I thought it would be a good way to let people get to know the "real" me. Not the coworker, not the mom, but the actual person. My hope is that these writings will be an interesting read for people because I intend to cover topics all over the map. I want to talk about social issues (those are my favorite), political issues, personal issues...the works!...because ALL of these things make up who I am. I hope that some topics spur a lot of discussion, both in support and against, because I love to hear others' opinions on things that I really care about.

Deciding what to write about first has been difficult. I finally landed on blogging about a few things that I've learned along the way. Some are uplifting, some are probably downright depressing, but all of them form who I am as of this moment in time, and that's the whole point, right? Anyway, these aren't necessarily in order of priority...just the order that they occurred to me tonight.

1. Cherish your family
I'm not the best at remembering the little things, like sending birthday cards (in fact, I might actually be the worst...just ask my nieces!), but I truly love my family, and I would do anything for them in a heartbeat. I'm not under the delusion that everyone has a family as supportive as mine, but each of us has gotten something worthwhile from our relationships with our families. Even if you have a "horrible" family, at the very least, you can use them as an example of who you don't want to be. I can imagine that could actually be a very interesting use for people who haven't given you anything else. In any case, a family is something that should be cherished because they have made you who you are. And in my case, I cherish them because they are downright fabulous. :)

2. Choose your friends wisely
Not that long ago, a "friend" of mine decided I was the reason for all of her problems and made an "interesting" (to be read..."appalling") choice to tell everyone she knew how horrible I was. While it took some time to convince people that I wasn't Evil Incarnate, the MUCH more upsetting part was that my "friend" had chosen to stab me in the back. As I write this, I realize that the knife still hurts a little. Upon reflection, though, I believe that I could have seen this coming. Back then, I chose to only see the good in people, but the truth is, there is good AND bad in all of us. Real friends can help you work through the bad and emphasize the good. Fake friends will do the opposite. I have learned to be more aware of this possibility, so when a second "friend" tried to derail my career, I actually saw it coming. I have learned to be much more careful about who I call a friend.

3. You always have a choice
No matter what the situation, you ALWAYS have a choice. Always. The options might all be crappy, but there are always options. When things seem hopeless and you feel stuck, sometimes it helps to remember that you have the choice to walk away. It actually helps to remind me of why I don't actually WANT to walk away. Seems a little paradoxical, but it's totally true.

4. You are responsible for your own happiness
A lot of things can happen in life that have the potential to make us miserable. I have a child with autism. It can make life difficult, to say the least, but when I focus on the things I love about him (which are way too numerous to even begin to list), I find a profound amount of happiness in just knowing him. You choose to be an optimist or a pessimist. A friend once gave me the quote, "A pessimist sees the difficulties in opportunities; an optimist sees the opportunities in difficulties." I choose to look for the opportunities...

5. You aren't entitled to anything besides your inalienable rights
I intend to write my very next blog on this very topic, so I will limit myself to just this for now: if more people believed that you truly are not entitled to money, a house, a car, etc., this world would be a much better place. I think our founding fathers had it just right...life, liberty, and the PURSUIT of happiness. More on this next time...

There are so many more things I have learned over the years, but I feel like five is a nice start. I'd love to hear any additional words of wisdom that you have picked up over time, or if you totally disagree with my ideas, I would like to know that, too.

Next topic: Entitlement